#especially because they were all getting paid for this

[help-help-i-need-an-adult]

The lecture about cow shit above reminds me of when my mom, aunt, and their 2 friends worked the cow barn at the Minnesota State Fair in the early 70’s when they were in high school.

This wasn’t a big deal to them because all 4 of them grew up on cow farms and it was what they always did but at the fair they got paid for it. They thought it was a great gig.

Now, they had trucks that would collect the barrels of cow shit they were shoveling while cleaning out the barn. Because these were show cows, they were especially diligent in keeping that barn clean. And it was a lot of cows.

So a truck would drive back and forth all day to take the shit away. And then it broke down.

The barn still had to be as pristine as barns get, so they were told to just dump the cow shit on the ramp that they would wheelbarrow the shit up to be able to dump it into said truck.

It took DAYS to arrange for a new truck to collect the shit.

When they did get a new truck, it was a dump truck. Convenient for the magnitude of shit but oh gods getting the shit INTO that truck.

They had to shovel it in. Throwing it over head to get it in the truck.

They worked in groups of 2 on 30 minute shifts for 3 days shoveling that shit.

And cow shit is SLOPY.

It got everywhere. Hair, face, down the bra, EVERY. FUCKING. WHERE.

Mom tells this story as a lesson to keep going even when things get hard. This is a woman who quit a waitressing job in college after 1 day. But shoveling metric fuck tons of cow shit and getting literally covered in it was something she did for 3 days and came back the next year for the job all over again. She has never once drank raw milk and would call you stupid to your face if you decided to drink raw milk.

If you think for 1 millisecond that when the cow poops their shit doesn’t get ALL OVER THEM, you are simply wrong. Literally DEAD wrong.

Pasteurize the fucking milk. Don’t buy into dumb ass fads and don’t take health advice from influencers on the internet.

[heavyhitterheaux]

Protector Fic Preview

Click for a surprise 😉

Joe looked at both his parents in anticipation as the question he asked them lingered in the air.

When both of them were quiet, he spoke up again.

“Oh, so no one has anything to say?”

“Joseph, we did it to protect you as well as your future.” Jimmy finally spoke up as Robin remained quiet.

“Protect me from what exactly? Because that literally makes no fucking sense and you know it.”

“I don't care how old you are, watch your mouth when you talk to us.” Robin said as she crossed her arms and finally looked at him.

“I can't believe you two, but especially you. When Y/N broke up with me which I learned was your doing all along I came and confided in you not knowing what you had actually did. And let me ask, were you ever going to say anything?”

“I….”

“Never mind because whatever excuse you're about to pull out of your ass isn't worth it.”

“JOSEPH LEE BURROW!”

“NO, I GET TO BE PISSED OFF NOT YOU TWO. I GOT TO MISS OUT ON THE FIRST NINE YEARS OF MY SON'S LIFE BECAUSE YOU TWO PAID HER PARENTS NOT TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT AND MADE HER DISAPPEAR FROM MY LIFE. I PLANNED ON MARRYING HER AND I WOULD HAVE DONE IT IF SHE HAD GOTTEN PREGNANT OR NOT.” Joe had been seeing red from the moment he stepped into his parents house and did not plan on backing down.

“We get you're upset, but let's calm down so we can talk.”

“You should have talked to me almost ten years ago. For now, I'm done. But answer this, forget about me for a minute. How could you do that to your own grandchild?”

[catdia]

Viktor with a Chubby S/o

(Modern AU / College AU)

You guys meet thanks to Professor Heimerdinger. Both brilliant students that were later made into TAs

He is a biomedical engineer major. You share many classes together but got official acquainted as Heimer’s personal assistants

Viktor is incredibly handsome and you fell for him right away. You love his dry humor and the way his mind works. He had been Heimerdinger’s TA a few months before you, so you sat in the classes he taught as a way to get yourself familiar with an assistants work

He teaches so good, almost at the same level as any other professor. He is witty and doesn’t hold back when he criticizes the students poor test scores

“If you actually paid attention for once you would have seen that all these problems were on the homework you were assigned over the week! Oh, but half of you didn’t do it in the first place. So I’m not surprised you failed miserably—”

Professor Heimerdinger definitely tries to set you two up from the start. He sees the chemistry every time you both are around the office working in lesson plans and discussions equations. Heimer sees how Viktor softens his gaze will looking at you. And how you get lost in Viktor’s impressive mind

“There is nothing like young love, my boy! One day you are sitting together basking in the wonders of progress, then in the blink of an eye you are hearing wedding bells—”

“I think what you’re experiencing Professor is something called schizophrenia.”

Viktor was the one that asked you out first! Then it was smooth sailing from there. Your simple coffee runs to finish up grading papers turned into you holding hands and sharing overpriced pastries

Jayce also became a very big part of your relationship, he was Viktor’s roommate in freshman year and have been inseparable since. Also a biomedical engineer student

Viktor survives most days on sweets and black coffee. So when you came around you finally made this man have a proper meal after class

“I actually have been starting to feel much better these past few weeks. I’m head doesn’t get foggy anymore.”

“That’s because I’m feeding the fuck out of you. So which one do you want? Chicken and rice or beef?”

Viktor is thin and lanky so he is the one that steals clothes in the relationship. Especially likes taking your cardigans and sweaters

Started buying bigger clothes just so you wouldn’t be felt out. Makes sure to spray his cologne on it so you can smell him all day

He has a very nice sense of style, a mix between dark academia and grunge. Likes anything to do with warm colors and cozy fabrics.

He uses a leather crossbody bag instead of a regular book bag. He thinks it makes him look cooler

Has an old wooden cane he got at an estate sale. It’s a beautiful deep shade of brown that almost looks reddish. Its handle is craved with intricate flowers and vines. Viktor has a medical grade one but hates how boring it looks

“It has character! If I have to use a cane to walk at least I can look the part while doing it.”

“And by “the part” you mean looking like a grandpa?”

You and Jayce like to play around with the cane every chance you get. From limbo to sword fighting. Once Viktor has taken a seat and looks comfortable it’s game over. You’re taking the cane until further notice. You and Jayce get into petty fights over who gets to take the cane all the time

“Jayce it’s not fair! You got to take it last time and it’s my turn!” You stood on your tippy toes as Jayce lifted the cane above his head

“Nuh huh, you lost so I get first dibs on it!”

“I’m going to shove it up your ass, Talis! Give it to me—” Jayce ran away and you followed him as he weaved across the various desks and chairs

Loves watching his two idiots fight over his walking stick knowing that it ends up with him scolding you two for playing rough

Lets you decorate it how much you want. He even gave you permission to carve your name on the bottom of the handle. You like to change it up, having little bats on Halloween and wrapping it up in Christmas lights in winter

Spends all his free time in the library. You and Jayce join him often, doing homework and studying. When it’s finals you stay until midnight in a private study room. Watching Jayce and Viktor bicker over math equations as you doze off

Speaks Russian, French and Czech! You get turned on when he switches languages when pissed

Thanks to his disability he gets a really big dorm room with a private bathroom and kitchen, almost like a full blown apartment

“I can’t believe they gave you such a nice place, Viktor! Not even my mini fridge works.”

“You should have came in a wheelchair with an oxygen tank like I did on orientation week.”

“Viktor, I’m sure what you did was illegal—”

The first time you were intimate with Viktor you were nervous! Viktor because he bagged a pretty girl and didn’t know how to handle it. And you because of the lack of intimacy you had. He is such an attentive lover! And made your first time so sweet

Even if he is all fucked up after sex he will do aftercare. Will get you water and a snack butt naked. Gives you lots of affection and kind words too

You both do laundry together on the week ends. Makes for good bonding time. After washing and drying your stuff you always go to his dorm room and put on music as you fold your clothes together

“This thing doesn’t even cover one of my ass cheeks.” You put his boxers next to your butt then threw it in Viktor’s hamper.

“Good thing that it only needs to cover the good stuff in the front.” He placed another sweater in his drawer

“You’re gross, Vik!” Viktor chuckled and looked at the pile of clothes you were folding. The slight hint of pink from the mountain of dark clothes caught his attention. He reached out and pulled a pair of lacy panties

“And who are these for?” Viktor had never seen these before and had the biggest grin on his face. Imagining you in them

“For your mom.” You shot back at him

“Mmm, she has my taste. She’ll like them.” He folded the pair in his hand and placed it inside is sweater stack

“Did you really just put my panties in your cupboard in front of my face?” You looked at him in shock. And you were flatter in a weird way.

“Yes, I made it obvious for a reason!”

He takes a plethora of pills through out the day, you’ve memorized the names of them and their effects. And even have some spare ones on you in case he forgets to take them

Definitely has tampons and pads in his book bag in case of emergencies!

There are some days where he has very bad flare ups. You stay with him in bed all day and miss class together. He loves cuddling with you, holding you from behind and having his bad leg thrown over your hip. Or him laying on your chest as you play with his hair

Likes grabbing fist fulls of your tummy when your together. It makes him feel so warm and cozy

I don’t see Viktor being an avid cannabis user, but he still has his license and buys from “independent sellers” because it’s cheaper. He uses it once in a blue moon, when the pain is unbearable. Doesn’t like smoking it in front of anyone. Not even you or Jayce

Is the type of guy that just stops and stares when you walk by him. It doesn’t matter if you’re in public or alone together he WILL stop whatever his doing and look at you

You buy him matching stuff all the time, like pencils and keychains! You got a pair of matching Dr Martens with him and funky socks for every occasion

Jayce got jealous and it ended up with you three going out to a Sanrio store and buying matching keychains for your book bags. Jayce for me screams Pompompurin and Viktor is definitely a Keroppi and My Melody stan!

Viktor has been independent with his disability since he was born. It makes him feel weird when you want to help him or even do acts of service that make his day a little less painful

He has been in relationships where his partners or even “friends” make him feel less then. They see his disability before his amazing personality and smarts

It takes time for him to get used to another person loving him and not complain about his leg being a burden. He doesn’t admit how much he likes having you help him out with simple stuff, he doesn’t care about his pride when his with you. It shows him that you accept all parts of him like he does yours

You like massaging his bad knee with his medical cream. After his showers you are already set up waiting for him on the bed

“You don’t have to do this for me, you know?”

“But I want to! And I like the smell of the cream anyways. It makes my hands soft.” You slowly worked your hands into the skin of his leg. Going over his knee surgery scar with your fingers

Viktor is the type of guy that doesn’t seem to have body insecurities but more capabilities ones. Like him doubting he could make you happy. Or if he can make you feel sexually satisfied and attached to him

Which he absolutely does because that man is a freak and knows how to work with what his mama gave him!

His beauty marks and moles are your favorite part of him. Especially the ones on his face. Before you even kiss his lips properly you have to kiss is moles first! He has many more all over his body. You know where every single one is on his skin. The one on his left side pelvis, the one behind is right ear, and the pair that cross over is bad ankle

Viktor’s favorite part of your body is your ass, then your personality (hahaha). He loves all of your equally but something about watching your ass jiggle as you walk away and how it feels so nice on his pelvis when he holds you from behind just makes him gushy

“Does this dress make me look lumpy?” You looked in the mirror as you were trying on the new dresses you ordered for the Innovators Competition coming up

“What are you talking about?” Viktor turned around in his chair, pushing his eye glasses into his hair. He was busy tweaking the final cables of his invention

“Like doesn’t my ass and pudge look out of place in this dress?” You pinched your skin as you looked at your reflection. Viktor knew you well, you were setting fire to yourself. He slowly got up and walked to your form, careful to not hurt his leg

“You look gorgeous, love. You’re the most beautiful woman in the world.” He wrapped his arms around your middle, resting his chin on your shoulder as he looked at your eyes in the mirror. “The only thing out of place is that I’m not in between your legs right now.”

“Jesus, Viktor!”

Like I mentioned Viktor is a total freak! He knows how to seduce you when he wants to get down and dirty. The one that gets you the most is when he wears button down shirts and rolls in the sleeves to his forearms. Then unbuttons it until you can see the navel of his chest

“You’re getting distracted.” Viktor said

“Only because you’re making me flustered, you temptress!”

You’ve definitely have gotten freaky in Professor Heimerdinger’s lab. You sitting on the cold wooden desk top as Viktor was in between your legs. Working on pulling of your top, then undoing your bra

“V-Viktor— what if he catches us? We’ll be expelled!” He placed open mouth kisses on your exposed neck. Palms flush against the flesh of your breasts. Earning moans from your warm throat. Slowly pulling your skirt down your legs and discarding it

“He is out of office until Wednesday.” He took off your panties and placed them in his back pocket. Then slowly started taking off his belt and unzipping his pants. He pushed on your chest to make you lay flat on the desk. “Know be quite and let me make you feel good.”

He isn’t a people person, at all. So he likes to spent time alone with you the most. Watching movies, baking and building Legos together

He’s a puzzle nerd and always has one on his table that he builds here and there

You’ve tried to convince him to get a service dog, but I can totally see this man being disgusted by dogs. Doesn’t even tolerate the little ones.

“They’re so obnoxious and needy. So full of bothersome energy—”

“Whenever you talk about dogs all I hear coming from your mouth is ‘Jayce, Jayce, Jayce’!”

“Don’t you dare compare my friend to a mutt!

He is more of a cat person, or a reptile one. I believe if Viktor wasn’t an engineering major he would have chosen veterinary science

Viktor’s love languages are quality time, acts of service, and physical touch. Has to have his hands on you at all times

“Sit on my lap.”

“Viktor, if I do I’ll put you into cardiac arrest. Or hurt your leg. I don’t know which one’s worse.” You crossed your arms, watching as he pouted at you from the sofa

“I can take it! Sit on my lap, woman!” Viktor patted his lap aggressively and made grabby hands at you

“Okay, whatever you say…” You sat down on his legs, making sure that your back was supported by the armrest of the couch. You rested your head on his shoulder

“Mmmm, this is heaven—” He massaged the meat of your thighs. Nuzzling his head in your hair

“If you see a light don’t go towards it! You still own me a movie night.”

One of your favorite weekend activities is going to the park and feeding the ducks! Also going to thrift stores and farmers markets

Viktor doesn’t let you pay for anything! He says that it’s a man’s job to pay for everything and he likes spending his TA check on you

He grew up in a place where violence was in every corner, so he is very observant and protective when you are out together. Viktor has a lot of street smarts and knows when people are watching. He also has a pocket knife on him and even owns a firearm. Don’t ask him if he has a license for it because he doesn’t

Many times you’ve had witness Jayce carry Viktor up or down flights of stairs when the elevator is busted or when there’s a building evacuation. You call it his “princess time”. You walk beside them with Viktor’s cane and book bag in hand

“This is utterly embarrassing—” Viktor had his head hanging off the side of Jayce’s arm like a corpse

“I think you look dashing, Viktor!” You said playfully, kissing his lolling head

“That makes it even worse.” He grumbled on Jayce’s shoulder

“At least you’re not tumbling down the stairs, V.” Jayce chuckled

Viktor definitely plans on marrying you after college, he knew he wanted you in his life since the first month you started dating

He was the first to say “I love you”, and cried while saying it

The type of person that says they hate kids and doesn’t like them at all. But children just flock to them for some reason. Viktor is one of those people! Every time he is out and there are kids around you are in for a treat. Babies just stare at him and give him the cutest gummy smiles. Reaching their chubby hands towards him. Little kids always come up and ask him questions about his cane. He is so dry but so kind to the little ones that it literally makes your heart melt

“Are you a pirate, mister?!”

“No sadly. I’m a college student. Boring I know.”

You love doing self care nights with him. Putting your new face masks and hair care products to the test on Viktor

Viktor growing his hair out was the biggest blessing you could ever ask for! He lets you style his hair all the time in braids, ponytails and even lets you curl it. Having a half up half down hairdo looks killer on him

You definitely joke about him being a “chubby chaser”. He didn’t know what it meant until you told him and he just smiled and said:

“Well, what are bones good for if they don’t have meat on them.”

He’s your sassy skeleton man and you love it

[svetamillss]

Headcanons: Your anniversary of the relationship👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏼

Featuring: Cho Hyun Ju x Reader(f)

A/N: I continue to write works with my love!

💋You had an anniversary. Relationships for a whole year, it is very important, especially for both of you. You thought for a long time how you would spend this holiday and in the end you decided to go to an inexpensive restaurant. Of course, Hyun Ju didn't want to at first and offered to just celebrate at home, but you insisted.

- Hyunnie, please... it's such an important day for us. - you said with a pleading look.

- Oh, well, you know that everyone will look at me, after all, the process of change is not completely over yet. - she answered, but under your pressure she gave up. She received a gentle kiss on the lips for this.

💋You're wearing a beautiful black dress, and your girlfriend wearing a white shirt and a long wide black skirt so that her dick is not visible to others (she could wear pants, but she wants to get used to skirts and dresses little by little). You helped the girl put on makeup and make a beautiful hairstyle.

💋Since you didn't have much money, because you saved up for operations for a girl, you decided to eat budget-friendly, but tasty and satisfying. Your choice fell on pizza and low-alcohol champagne (as you both don't really like alcohol, especially Hyun Ju).

💋Hyun Ju was right, everyone paid attention to your couple and sometimes even whispered. The girl felt very embarrassed, but you immediately rushed to calm her down, taking her hand.

- My dear, Hyunnie, imagine that there is no one here but us and look only at me. Only you and I exist in this place. - you said with a smile, and then gently kissed her hand. Your words and actions had a good influence on her, so the rest of the evening she didn't pay attention to others.

💋After the restaurant, you walked home holding hands.

- We'd better go to such places when I make a full transition. - she said with a smile.

- Okay, but sometimes we will still go to such places, you should get used to crowded places, not just sit at home.

- Okay, okay! - she replied with a laugh, then looked at you with a playful look and continued. - And now let's go home as soon as possible, and continue our date, after all, I haven't received my dessert yet. - You immediately understood and were very embarrassed.

- Hyunnie!! - but still, as the girl asked, you hurried home, because the continuation of the evening promised to be interesting.

[am-i-interrupting]

Can you do an omega!Jinx with an alpha reader where Jinx gets surprised when reader gets protective. Like the reader usually hangs back and lets Jinx take care of herself but since she’s presented the reader feels more instinct to protect her.

Protective Predator

You were used to letting Jinx do her own thing. You couldn’t really do stop her when she set her mind to something. However, things had changed.

Not really. Not in any way that mattered. They had changed though. Since she’d presented.

Maybe it’s because it was all new. You weren’t used to being around an omega, especially not one you’d staked claim to. She wasn’t just an omega.

She was your omega. You were her alpha. This was a dynamic that was both so familiar and yet foreign.

You knew how to be around Jinx. You’d been doing it for years. She was not something strange or weird to you. The pull in your stomach? That was strange and weird.

Being with Jinx, you’d always been physical. Not even in a sexual sense, she just liked to hold hands and cuddle and be assured that you were real not one of her hallucinations. But your body for the past two weeks since she’d presented, had been telling you that it was a need to have her close not just a pleasantry.

You’d been holding her hand, having your arm around her shoulder or her waist. Letting her keep your jacket, insisting on it because she needed to smell like you.

You were honestly getting a little fed up with it. You knew logically that Jinx could and would take care of herself and had no problem doing it. She loved putting assholes in their places. You didn’t need to fend them off for her.

You forced yourself away from her to go and pick up some food. A lot of people weren’t going to be honest to enforcers of all the rats in the world. However, some people could be paid out. To see her in passing may be one thing but having a conversation with her? It wasn’t a risk you were willing to take.

You were on your way back to her with food in hand when you heard her scratchy, pitched voice, “I promise you, I’m far more dangerous than any house omega you’d want. Got it?”

Your feet sped up on their own accord as you traveled through the crowd of people. Her gun glistened as she flashed it.

“Aw, come on, sweetness, don’t be like that,” the man who stunk of an oncoming rut said. “You can’t tell me you don’t crave a nice alpha go fuck you into your place.”

“No, I don’t actually,” she said as she raised her gun to his face. “I’ve got—“

“Me to do that for her,” you said, cutting in right before you decked the man in the face, the bag of food going to the ground.

He stumbled. You grabbed his forearm and spun him in a circle. You stopped and used the momentum to throw him into the ground. You leveraged one foot back before you swung it forward and delivered a blow to his dick. You pressed you foot further onto it as he whimpered and you leaned down.

Your nails dung into his face. Your lips went close to his ear.

“But between you and me, she doesn’t get fucked into place. I get fucked into mine.” You leaned back to meet his eyes. “So if I can do this to you, image what she’d have done.”

You stood up. He tried to push himself up but you kicked him back down. You angled the heel of your boot and slammed it into his nose. A loud crack sounded through the air.

“Come on, sweets,” you said.

You grabbed the food bag and wrapped your arm around her shoulders. She smiled. Her hand was slack and more controlled by the weight of her gun than her body as she shrugged at the man.

The clarity came afterwards, about four buildings down. “I’m sorry. You had control of that. I don’t know why I did that.”

“Oh, toots,” she said lightly, “you don’t need to apologize.”

She used her hand around your waist to pull you into an alleyway. She pressed you into the side of a building.

“That was really fucking hot.”

Isha complained that her food was cold when you got back.

[alexa-fika]

Just imagine a child reader with each of the crews (strawhat pirates, heart pirates, whitebeard pirates, kid pirates, and red hair pirates) like 7 or 8 and they are just a menace. Like they have insane adhd and acts like they drank multiple monster energy drinks every morning but they can also be so sweet and adorable sometimes. They just run around and cause chaos but everyone on the crew just takes care of them but they make it so hard. Spontaneous hide and seek? Everybody’s freaking out because they’re missing and all the sudden they will just pop out of the most random place and declare themself the winner and everybody is like huh?? the winner of what?? They’ve been there for a while, and people have grown attached. I can imagine ace just having the most fun with them. And for the strawhats like they joined around when the strawhat crew fist went into the grand line so they have been there from the beginning and all the new crew members are like “why are they still here??” and zoro is like “to be honest i dont know” they are luffy’s best bud on the strawhats Sorry for the rant, i just read a fic and it sparked this idea and reminded me of your writing. I just kind of wrote down my train of thought, congratulations if this makes sense to you thanks for listening. 

Who’s it? ( Law x Adhd!reader)

A/N Hey hey! Here we go, I think we haven’t done a Law/heart pirates in a while so yippee, also i’m sorry nonnie, I couldn't do so many crews at once so if you still want to see the other crews don’t be afraid to send another request! In other news; Guys I start work soon 🥲so i’m not sure what the upload schedule will be like next week

Dividers by @/firefly-graphics

Reader here is replaced by Dokucha which stands for Reader in Japanese for the enjoyment of both reader and oc character readers!

Penguin puffed as he leaned his hands on his knees, trying to recuperate his breath after running multiple laps around the sub. Despite the physical strain his job required on a daily, especially under a Captain such as his, he could never get used to the exhaustion and anxiety that taking care of a tween with adhd brought.

“D-Did you guys find them?” He sputtered out, lifting his head to look at his crew, who sported similar exhaustion

“No. I’m sorry,” Bepo cried, putting his head down in shame. The mink had been the first to realize the child had disappeared as the crew had breakfast. It was not his responsibility alone, but as always, he could not help but think he could have prevented this if he had paid more attention to them.

“There has to be someplace we haven’t looked!”

“Mate, I checked the workshop top to bottom; wherever they are, I know it's not in my bloody workshop,” Ikkaku said, shaking her head.

“I um.. I checked the cockpit. I didn’t see them there,” Hakugan piped up softly.

“Nothing in the map room, I’m sorry,” Bepo added.

“Stop apologizing!” Shachi snarled

“I’m sorry!”

“Nothing in the Kitchen; I thought for sure they would have hidden there,” Bart grumbled out, scratching his head, confused.

“I checked the common rooms, but I couldn’t find them,” Cline reported

“I checked the storage rooms, but nothing,” Shachi sighed, looking toward the Penguin.

“And I just checked our chambers; I was hoping they were sleeping, but no one was there,” Penguin cried.

“Pen, seriously? Of all things, you thought that ankle-biter would be taking a kip? We can’t even get them to sleep, let alone a kip,” Ikkaku scoffed with a roll of her eyes.

“I freaked out! I just don’t know where else we could look.”

“Well, that would leave only one place, doesn’t it?” Clione called nervously

“No way!” Penguin yelled as he straightened up at the insinuation

“It’s true, isn’t it? We have already looked through the whole sub, Penguin! They have to be in the infirmary.” Uni shot back with a frown

“Even if they aren’t, I think we should ask Captain for help.”

“Are you serious, Uni?! He’ll kill us if he hears we lost them again. I don’t want to go another day with switched limbs!” Shachi shuddered, hugging himself tightly

“It’s not like it can be helped; that kid acts as if they were injected with steroids all the time, always berko, we can’t keep up with em” Ikkaku sighed.

“Okay then, who’s going to tell him then because it’s not going to be me” Penguin questioned, looking up at her

“Well, that’s obvious, isn’t it?” Shachi muttered as he and the crew all turned to the navigator, who, upon noticing the attention that had fallen on him shook his head nervously

Despite his meek outer appearance, it was common knowledge aboard the Polar Tang that the singular best way to deliver annoying or bothersome news without suffering punishment or repercussions was to have Bepo deliver the news to the Captain, as even the surgeon of death himself was vulnerable to the mink’s adorable demeanor.

And so, once again, Bepo stood in the infirmary, delivering such news to the Captain. It followed the same pattern when situations such as these occurred: Bepo would enter nervously, Law would instantly realize something went wrong, his anger would spike, Bepo would cry, Law would fall for his cuteness and usually solve the problem quite promptly.

“Room,” Law called. Scanning the submarine with his devil fruit, he took just a few seconds to mutter a small ‘there’ as he managed to locate the child.

“Shambles,” he spoke, throwing a small stone in the air, catching the child that child that replaced it and glaring at them as they began laughing.”

“You found me!”

“Dokucha-ya. What were you doing?”

“We were playing hide and seek, and I was winning! I still won 'cause you used your powers, and that’s cheating, so I’m still the undefeated champion!” They cheered, raising their hands in Victory

“You were playing hide and seek?” Law questioned, looking up at Bepo, an angry, accusing glare on his face at the information

“N-no!” He promised, shaking his head furiously, sighing as Law turned his accusing glare back on the child.

“Oh! I forgot to tell them. Well, now you know, so let's play again!” they grinned, running off again only to be shambled back into Law’s hands once again.

“No. You are going to sleep.” Law told them, standing up and putting his arm around the child’s stomach as he carried them away, rolling his eyes as they let out a slight whine at the news.

“You can go, Bepo. I’ll put them to sleep,” he ordered, waving the bear off, much to the latter’s relief. The bear wasted no time running off.

“You. Sleep,” he instructed, tossing the child into an infirmity bed, turning around, and walking back to his desk to continue the medical journal he had recently found.

“Yepee!” they cheered as they bounced on the bed. Rolling around on their stomachs, they began kicking their feed, letting out a pout.

“Come on, Law! I’m not tired! I want to play a little more, please?”

“No.”

"Talking is fine, too.”

“Alright, Then. " He agreed, shutting the journal and giving the child a smirk as a hopeful and gleeful expression grew on their faces.

“How about we talked about why you skipped your medication again?”

They groaned, getting their body fall into the bed face-first,wishing they hadn’t opened their mouths to avoid the scolding they knew was now invertible.

“Dokucha-ya,” he warned

“No! I want to sleep!” they called, turning away from him.

“Too late, You know I’m not going to let this slide; the sooner you tell me, the sooner I can stop asking you and interrupting your playtime,” he reasoned, turning his chair towards the bed.

“Is it the taste? I can teach you how to swallow the pill; I can mix it into food as well.”

“It’s not that.”

“Then?”

“It’s nothing.”

“If it weren’t nothing, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.Dokucha-ya, listen. If you tell me what is wrong with them, I can fix the problem.”

“They make me feel weird,” they muttered, flipping themselves over to meet his eye, watching as his eyebrows furrowed at the information.

“Weird, how?” he questioned

“It makes me feel yucky; I don’t want to do anything when I eat it.”

Law frowned as he realized what they meant. He had thoroughly researched all of Dokucha’s medicine and potential medicines and was well aware that depression has been previously reported as a side effect for ritalin in some patients. The hard part of medications for conditions like these was that the only way to know the best medicine for them was trial and error, trying different Medicines until they were able to find the one that worked best. His thought process was interrupted as the child let out a small apology.

“it’s not your fault; you can’t control how the medicine will react; thank you for telling me; I will change your medication, alright?” he reassured them as they stood up, walking to the shelf and pulling out a book

“Hmm, we will try Staterra instead. I will give you 0.5g. It’s the lowest dose for your age, and it will help me see how your body reacts.”

“Will… it help me study better again?” they asked nervously, fidgeting. Most of his medical talk was lost to them, but they were able to understand the gist of it: that he was trying to help them fix the problem they were currently experiencing.

“That’s the goal. We will start the medicine tomorrow. If it does well, I will raise the dose in three days, and we will see from there. If it makes you feel weird again, let me know

Dokucha smiled, themedical jargon and what most people would see as an emotionally disconnected doctor Dokucha knew to be the way the man showed that he cared, and although it perhaps wasn’t what other kids might like, it made them feel appreciated and loved. After all, other kids probably have to worry about managing a condition, and not all caretakers are as involved and determined to find a solution as the Captain was, and for them, it was enough.

“Okay!”

Whoop whoop!

[starcrossed591]

I'm kind of obsessed with how intentional and specific Flourished Peony is being about how sexism is not just a matter of individuals being shitty, but a matter of systemic inequality. (They're also being really fucking clear that classism and other elements of the social hierarchy compound it, but that's another post.)

First, take how difficult it was for Mu Dan to get a divorce (and she still doesn't have the paperwork, which I'm *sure* is going to come back to bite her in the ass!). In her attempts to leave the Liu family, she's up not just against her terrible in laws and trash husband, but an intertwined legal and social system that works against her being able to get out alive, much less with any sort of means to support herself. In order to get the local court to approve her divorce, she not only has to prove that her husband has beaten her (and also make it look like the physical abuse she endured is much worse than it was because spousal rape I'm sure would not be acknowledged as a crime), have her body examined in public in order to prove the beating is real--and because that's not actually enough to guarantee her escape, arrange for a higher ranking official on her side and a paid audience to be there for her hearing in order to make sure the judge doesn't sweep it all under the rug. Even with all that on her side, the Judge even tries to justify kicking her out of the Liu family, leaving her dowry behind, because she has not yet born a child and therefore must be at fault for the problems in her relationship.

And *then* even though she gets her divorce papers, her (terrible, no good, piece of garbage) father-in-law sends his servant to murder her so he can keep her dowry. They've already coerced her into giving up a significant portion of that dowry, and sold other parts of it without her consent. Her father-in-law burns her divorce decree, and she has to run for her life with only a potted plant to her name. She then stages her death because she discovers she can't actually go home. Using a combo of social conventions, legal conventions, and rank, the Liu family has convinced her family that Mudan is at fault for all the trouble and as such, they would immediately send her back if she goes home for help.

And then ass if *that* wasn't enough, once Mu Dan makes it to the capital, she can't get a dang job to support herself because she doesn't have a household registration because she wasn't able to get properly divorced! And not having the proper paperwork once again makes her vulnerable to further abuse and gender based violence. She takes a job working in a tavern for 30% of what she deserves for her labor and on top of that, is then nearly sexually assaulted and forced to become the tavern owner's concubine. And even though she manages to escape, she can't hold the tavern owner responsible for beating, abduction, and attempted murder because she can't take him to court because she still *does not have the right paperwork*.

Now, a lot of people acted terribly in this sequence of events, including but not limited to: the Liu family, especially Mu Dan's father-in-law; Mu Dan's trash husband, who has treated her like something he found on the bottom of his shoe for the entirety of their marriage and now only wants to keep her because she wants to leave; the Liu family's servants, who, admittedly, don't have much recourse of their own; the judge; and the tavern owner. Murder attempt and outright abuse aside, though, there were a lot of good people who maybe even *wanted* to help Mu Dan and either couldn't or chose not to because of a combination of legal restrictions and social conventions.

Perhaps the most potent example of well-meaning people using the law and social conventions to justify their perpetuation of this system is Mu Dan's cousin, the imperial scholar. Though he does intervene to save her when she runs bang into him when running for her life from the tavern owner, what he absolutely won't do is help her get a fake household registration. Without that registration, she can't get a job and would have to fully depend on his support for food, clothing, and shelter. And hanging over his offer to house her is the threat that if her in laws find out that she's there--which they eventually would--her law-abiding cousin would almost certainly feel obliged to send her back to said in laws that want to kill her. Because legally, they have a right to do with her what they want. Because she's a woman. Who can't seem to get a divorce.

Anyway, I can't stop thinking about it, so there you go, there's my gender analysis of the first seven episodes of this drama.

[yandere-fics]

♡ Theanna Book AU Expanded ♡

(tweaked the personality I gave reader for this just a bit to add more details to it.)

You'd been an avid lover of romance fantasy books in your past life before you had been reincarnated here which was why you had not caught on to the exact book you were in. You'd read so many books over the years but this had been the only one you read that didn't include any romance, something that bored you so you had only even skimmed the novel, understanding the basic gist of it. If you had known you would fall into it, you definitely would have paid closer attention to it. You had been operating under the idea that this was a romance novel and so you decided it didn't matter what character you were in the story, you would just act like any typical heroine would do and you could always take one of the love interests that the heroine didn't want if it turned out there was actually a main character to this book you were in. You had managed to miss basically all the fighting just because you were busy picturing yourself in a romance fantasy. Your rivals for the throne didn't target you either because some were infatuated with you, a warm presence in their cold harsh palace, or just that you were plain stupid so you could be picked off later. It was only when you encountered the real main character that your reality came crashing down on you as you remembered all the odd occurrences you'd seen but just brushed off something to expand your own personal backstory.

You were lucky you even remembered her at all considering you had been living in this world for ten years at that point and prior to that you had read that book long before your death. You only remembered because how much you hated her bodyguard when you read the book. It was a classic story about a princess and her knight fighting for the throne and you'd assumed at some point the relationship between both of them would turn romantic. For there to be a "who hurt you?" moment but gradually the further you got into the book and the more deaths that started to happen, you realized it wasn't a romance. It was just a book about killing her hundred siblings and cousins who were in competition for the throne. Your final straw was when at the end of the book, her knight Abigail married another woman! So basically despite how you had carried yourself your entire life at this point, you weren't going to get a love interest, you'd probably get a knife to your neck instead. It was a total kick in the face so you decided you'd resign from the competition for the throne, a competition you hadn't even realized was happening until that morning when you'd met Theanna and resigned yourself to the servants quarters where gradually the people who remembered you either died off slowly in the fight or just forgot you were ever royal to begin with. You weren't in a romance novel like you wanted but at least you weren't dead. You still couldn't stop yourself from grumbling whenever you saw the knight Abigail in the halls of the palace, never to her face though.

Theanna wasn't going to just let you go forgotten though even if you made it clear you wanted to vanish amongst the crowds of servants, you'd been a strong contender for the throne even if you didn't know it just from how charming you were, there were quite a deal of nobles who had wanted you to win just so they'd have a nice charming puppet queen and some within the competitors who didn't care about any relation you might have to them and wanted to marry you themselves so you intrigued Theanna. She was interested in you the moment she moved into the competitors palace even if she never went up and spoke to you. You were so lost in your own world almost all the time and when she had first spoken to you, you'd seemed to have held an overwhelming amount of animosity just towards her personal knight which had been extremely amusing to watch especially knowing how much Abigail liked delicate noble ladies like yourself she was disheartened when you showed your hatred for her. It was something she enjoyed quite a lot so she had planned to watch closer within the palace but then you'd resigned from the competition, the first time you had ever acknowledged the contest outright, and she could no longer watch you quite as much as she had been wanting to. Of course the servants quarters were relatively close by but it left Theanna unsatisfied. For one even if you had not been the most fascinating person Theanna had ever met she simply could not be okay with a royal acting as a servant. It was a complete disgrace and something had to be done to fix it, namely, she would make you her queen.

Her plan was going to be seduce you once you were her exclusive maid but… she'd found something that seemed more promising in your bedroom. A journal, at first full of rants about how you couldn't wait to be an adult so the romance story could begin, you thought your life was a book apparently. She was excited to be able to tease you about that. As she got further in though she hit the section in which you and her had met and the entire page was just about hating Abigail and she could vaguely make out that you thought Abigail was the character in a book you'd read. She closed the journal, she didn't want to hear any more rants about how the knight in the book should have wound up with the princess, it was a bit off putting to her but she loved you and so she'd use this incomprehensible book to force your hand in marriage.

"You're h-highness, you wanted to see me?" When you had read about Theanna in the book she hadn't come off nearly as intimidating than she did whenever you were forced to encounter her within the halls of the palace. You were mostly convinced she was still planning on killing you even after you left the contest with how she stared at you every time you'd ever seen her in the hallway. You had assumed that she was planning on killing you now that she'd taken the throne just so she could punish you for thinking you could avoid dying. When you looked up though she was holding your notebook, you'd made it to take notes on your surroundings so you could piece together what romance novel you were in before you found out this wasn't actually a romance. You never could bring yourself to get rid of it though, which you realized now was a mistake, the main character of the novel was now in possession of your dark secret.

"I found this interesting notebook, darling, would you please sit down?" You scurried onto her couch, your head down in shame. She would certainly kill you now finding out all the embarrassing things you had ever thought, especially when she read the passage about how the princess and the knight should have made out in the book.

"Should I read some out darling?" She cleared her throat and you winced thinking about whatever cringey paragraph she'd read out. "Actually I don't think I will, reading about how you think Abigail should kiss me good night was enough for one lifetime. Anyways Darling, now that I know your shameful secret, how about a proposal?" She leaned over you keeping you pinned to the sofa as you hesitantly opened your eyes.

"W-what is it, y-your h-highness?" You knew whatever it was probably wasn't going to be good, you'd seen all the killing she'd done being a maid and having to clean up those bloodspots, hers were always the worst!

"Marry me, or I'll let everyone know you're delusional." You could only nod thinking about how horrible your life was. Lamenting how you never got your romance novel meanwhile Theanna was plotting all the things she could do for you that you said you'd seen in romance novels.

[awonderfulliar]

Tangerine flavored

As if you didn't have enough problems already... You sighed as the man behind you pushed his gun in your rib to make you move faster. Your hands were up in the air and you were breathing slowly, focused on the sounds around you. Why did so many people want you dead again? You chuckled a bit, remembering all of the stupid decisions that brought you here. You kept smiling. Quite funny how most of your survival instinct can shut down when you've been sleep deprived and stressed long enough. The big bad man standing in front of you must not have liked that as he ordered his men to knock you unconscious.

When you woke up, your hands were tied to a rusty radiator with dried bloodstains. You weren't quite smiling anymore. Especially when you saw the instruments in a metal bowl lying on the ground not far from you. The room was dark and only a ray of light slipped through a metal door on the opposite wall. You blinked as someone opened the door, letting all of the brightness from outside reach your tired eyes.

-Sleep well darling? did a male voice say in a mocking tone

-Where were you all night? Off to another girl's bed I take it.

The man grinned a bit and you knew your sarcasm would sooner be beaten out of you then you could get a laugh out of this tall caricature of a gangster's handyman.

-A lot of money has been paid for your pretty head, you know.

-Always knew I could be a face model.

-I don't think that's so true anymore, bloody mary.

You wipped your cheek and looked at your hand. Dried blood and dirt covered your fingers.

-Anyway, sweetheart, my boss wants to know how you were able to piss off all of these people.

-Can't he ask me himself?

-You're not that important.

-Well it seems I am actually. And you guys are the only ones unaware of why apparently.

A voice coming from outside shouted "We have a fresh one!". The man in front of you harshly took your hands to tie them. Then he turned around calmly and left the room with the door still open. You tried to get up, but were too slow as he quickly came back with two other men. One was almost unconscious, beaten up, and bloody all other. His messy brown curls hid most of his face and a golden chain hang around his neck as his head was tilted towards the floor. The two men handling him threw him on the ground next to you and his already torn blue suit soiled with the grey dust of the room.

-Alright, we'll let you two rest for now, but don't worry, darling, I'll be back soon enough. And you better have an answer for me by then.

The two men left the room and you stared at your new now completely unconscious companion.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-Where the fuck am I?

He said in a raspy voice, waking you up from your very light sleep. You didn't answer and looked his way for the second time today. He was quite handsome, actually, with piercing blue eyes, a sharp jawline, and a nice British mustache. You stared more than you were meant to because that's how he took notice of you. As the weird girl staring at him.

-They locked me up with the crazys?? What the fuck is wrong with these people?! I'm a respectable sane man, I am. Fucking pricks.

You chukled, your eyes still lingering on his figure. You liked his accent too. You turned your head to the door, finally leaving the man some privacy as you closed your eyes. You heard him standing up with difficulty and reaching the other side of the room probably while leaning on the wall. He was grunting in pain. You opened your eyes.

-Yeah, they probably forgot to lock the door. Or maybe they left us the key. Oh, wait, what if this is just an elaborated escape room, uh?

-Your hands are tied, mines aren't. So maybe try that again in a nicer tone, uh love?

-Kinky...

He threw you a mean glance from across the room. That smug smile that earned you all those problems was still on your lips.

He slid on the wall and fell back in a sitting position. He looked exhausted. As you were trying to think of what to say, the door opened.

-So, are you ready to talk? Or do I need to deal with you in a less calm manner?

That man from earlier was back, smiling and clearly on a power trip.

-I don't know what you want me to tell you.

He walked across the room, past the handsom exhausted man, and stood straight like a stick in front of you.

-Maybe start by what you did to deserve one of the highest price I've ever seen on someone's head.

The british looking man, who was starting to fall asleep, began to pay attention at those words. His blue eyes were on you except you doubted it was to take in the sight of your face. Too bad...

-Would you believe me if I said I didn't do anything?

The handyman squat down, looked at you, and slapped you in the face harshly. Even the other guy flinched.

-Start speaking now or...

-Or what?! You'll kill me?? You're going to do that either way! So what's the point of figuring out why others wanted to do it themselves?! You'll collect the prize with or without knowing why it was put on my head in the first place. You don't need the info. You just need an excuse to keep me alive until the client comes in and sees me alive. I know they want proof. Live proof. They want to see you guys kill me. You're not doing me a favor by letting me live, you're just doing it to get the bigger bag.

The man stood up, hummered something that sounded like "smart cookie", chuckled, and left.

-Jeez... what did you do? *did british hottie say*

This time it was your turn to throw a mean look his way.

-You really think I'm gonna tell you.

-I can untie your hands for starters. And I can help you get out of there. However I like to know who I'm doing business with, so if you wouldn't mind disclosing the information that guy was looking for...

-Get me out of there and I might.

-Doesn't work like that love.

-Then leave me here. I never asked you to help me, did I?

-Obviously, it's going to be harder to escape alone.

-So untie me and I'll help you.

-What if you're actually crazy and will turn on me the first chance you'll get.

You chuckled. Smiled a bit, a sad look on your face.

-A big tough buy.. scared of me... scared I'll be the one to hurt him. It's crazy how life turns out, uh? One minute you're scared to walk home alone after the sun goes down. The other, the guy you would have been scared of on those streets at night turns out to be the one distrusting you.

His eyes were locked on you. Watching you as if you were some lab rat. An eyebrow raised in interest. A serious look that meant he wasn't taking this scientific anaylisis lightly. He rose back up, slowly walked up to you with the difficulty of a hurt man, and lowered to your level when he came close enough.

-What's your name?

-Is it important?

-It is to me. You thought of pointing out the implications of that answer, but were scared of where that would lead the two of you.

-Y/n.

-I'm Tangerine.

-That's a fruit.

-Good observation skills. A real detective.

-I'm just saying.

As you were talking, he came even closer and untied your hands. His fingers were grazing your skin. You smiled again, this time without the sad look on your face but a more embarassed one. Like a young girl with a crush in 6th grade recess. It wasn't that he was touching you (not entirely at least). It was that he was helping you.

He stood back up, straightened his back, and extended his arm towards you, opening his hand. You were looking elsewhere as he gestured to you.

-It is a fruit's name though... you're named after a fucking fruit... and I'm the crazy one...

You take his hand, get off the floor, and smile big this time, confidently, and with a mysteriously cocky look in your eyes.

-Alright, time to get out of here.

-Look love, I appreciate the confidence and all, but let me take the lead on this. You're obviously a bit slowed down by all the beating and like you said, I'm the big tough guy here.

-I'm not slowed down! *You said while starting to walk towards the door, damn your leg hurt...*

-You're limping...

You smiled a bit awkardly. "Nothing serious... just haven't stretched out yet is all". Tangerine smirked and walked (shall I mention a lot faster than you as he wasn't limping) towards the side of the door.

-Could you get your friend back in the room please? Just him though.

-HEY ASSHOLE!! COME BACK HERE I'M READY TO TALK!

And just like that, you heard footsteps advancing. The door opened 40 seconds later, and you locked eyes with the bitch slapping dumb looking goon. In shock of seeing you standing up, free of your ties, he took a milisecond to stare you down during which Tangerine grabbed his head in his hands, quickly broke his neck, and picked up the riffle.

-Could you pass me his handgun?

-You're not gonna kill me are you love?

-I don't eat tangerines... always preferred oranges.

-You do realize that there are other ways to interpete this right?

You laughed silently, murmuring "Yeah well I don't mean it like that obviously...". To your surprise he heard.

-Obviously?... *He smirked at you with a very cocky look on his face which made you blush a tiniest bit, but under the dirt and blood, you were almost sure he couldn't see it. He handed you the deceased goon's gun*.

But, time for banter quickly came to an end as your british eye candy advanced in the dark and gloomy hallway, on his gard. You followed after him. Quick story short: he shot most of the gards himself, and you had to fire the gun maybe 5 times total, surely hitting your target, but not contributing much to the team's effort as there was a little bit more than only 5 gards between you and the exit. To be completely fair though, you guys managed to not alert every guard there thanks to you, as you killed quickly the ones running for help.

All of this came to an end in a backalley of a London restaurant where the fire escape you took led. You were free. Somehow. Still limping and in a quite awful condition. But free.

-Well this is where we say goodbye Y/N. I don't know what you did to get that prize on your head, but surely you must be a terrible person. Get yourself out of trouble though, love, this isn't a life for a sarcastic humorist tangerine hater such as yourself.

-So no one believed me when I said I didn't do anything wrong?

He looked at you, a bit surprised, but you didn't look back. You just started walking (in that case limping) towards the Main Street. It must have been quite a pathetic show as he walked up to you and put his arm under yours to help you. You didn't say anything. Didn't look at him. Just starred at the ground before you, wincing quietly at each step.

-Where shall I drop you off love?

You stopped moving. Chuckled. Looked the other way. And with a sad but desperately trying to be funny tone, said:

-I'm not sure to be quite honest...

He didn't respond. Took a deep breath for a minute. Then put his arm back in place and you both walked towards a phone booth. There he let go again and went in. Made a phone call, went out, starred at you, you starred back.

-Hungry?

You nodded your head to say yes and, wonderful timing as it was, your stomach started growling just then. You put your hand on your stomach as to silence it and Tangerine chuckled which showed off his extraordinary jaw definition.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You both sat on the same side of the table, apparently waiting for someone. As your british knight in a shining armor looked around the diner, you ordered fish and chips, chocolate milkshake, and a banana split. Once you were finished talking to the waiter (who was very disturbed by your bloody appearance by the way), Tangerine looked at you.

-That is the weirdest order I've seen placed in a while.

-Well what did you want me to order?

-Lemon! *Did he exclaim*

-Lemon for dinner? I don't think so, that would be terrible...

Tangerine stood up and hugged the man that came in. Both took a minute to catch up as you continued to mutter on how dumb ordering lemon would be for diner...

They both sat down, and Lemon starred at you.

-Who's that? A bit roughed up are you? Do you need a tissue or something? To wipe all that off...

You looked up from the menu.

-Ah, I look fine, haven't slept in a bit is all.

-Who is she Tangerine?

-That's Y/N, she needs a place to crash and we have a couch, so I thought...

-When did you meet?

-At least 24 hours ago. *You said in all honesty*

-Tangerine are you fucking mental?? Do you know how many people want us dead for what happened last year? We're not inviting a bloody stranger to the hotel. Hell no...

-Lemon... She seems to be on her own and it's not like she couldn't have killed me earlier had she wanted to... Jim's men wanted to sell her off to some kind of client, she's a bit lost is all*He said whispering*

-No! What are we?! A fucking adoption shelter taking in strays like that? She's a liability is all she is... You can't help a girl just cause she's pretty and seems harmless. She could be a hired assassin for all we know.

-I should probably go... I'll just wait for the food though, if it's okay with everyone. *You said looking down and with a low voice.*

You all sat in silence for a minute.

-Why did they want you dead so badly? Jim's clients? *asked Tangerine*

You didn't respond, just looked down. The food came. You ate the fish and chips quite quickly, then the banana split. All in silence. As you sipped on the milkshake, you noticed they were both still starring at you, waiting for you to answer probably.

-Well I meant it... I didn't do anything wrong.

-No one ever does... *sighed Lemon, visibly distrusting of you*

-I'm not an assassin okay? I don't kill people for a living... I find things, things people want. Like antics, or old military files.

-But you're a good shot, and quite calm for a civilian. *Raised Tangerine*

-When I started the job, I was just an academic looking for pretty random stuff, but the work wasn't just adventures and detective work, sometimes criminal organizations looked to acquire the same objects as I was. So I got help from hired gunsmen and sometimes even official special forces. They didn't want me to be helpless without them so they trained me a bit. Once I got a few skills added to my resume, my clients started asking me for more valuable objects, that more and more people wanted. So of course my skillset kind of diverged to dealing with the competition. But it wasn't on the job description when I applied.

-Jim specializes in assassination though? Why would he want you? *Asked Lemon*

-Because there's a bid on my head...

-And why is there a bid on your head?

-Because they think I stole something...

-What did you steal?

You finished the milkshake. You were about to stand up but Tangerine was looking at you a bit too concerned.

-Look Love, if you tell us what happened, and you didn't actually do anything wrong, then we might agree to help you. We're not complete assholes...

-Aren't we?! Now why would we help?

-Because Jim is a prick and anything to piss him off is worth the effort.

-Fair point... Alright Y/N, tell us, what happened?

-They think I stole the key to the MI6 database.

-Wait... don't tell me they have one key that can access...

-All datas on past, present, and future missions, on British government security, on british criminal organizations, on undercover agents, what they have on the CIA, on the FBI, on every other country's secret services, on the nuclear codes... Yeah all of that. Yes it exists.

-And they think you have it...

-No, they think I stole it.

-But then why would they want you dead?

-Because they also think I destroyed it after looking at it.

-And no one wants their secrets spilled out by you...

-Yep.

-But you didn't steal it?

-Not exactly...

-What did you do?

-My client wanted me to recover a file of the MI6. It was practially undoable. So I digged and I digged until I found this hardrive in an old vacant MI6 hideout. It was weird because it looked top secret but didn't have anyone around it to gard it, it was like it was handed to me. I looked at it, didn't have that much protection, just enough for me to think it was valuable, but easy enough to crack down. Then when I accessed it, it was a whole database of incredibly sensible documents. Yeah I looked at it, but not for long, got the file I needed, but before I could send it to my client, someone knocked me unconscious and I woke up without the hard drive but with a billion dollar target on my back. Somehow the information got out that I stole the hard drive from the MI6 super super secret base, which I never even set foot int.

-So someone set you up?

-Yes.

You stopped talking. Looked at them. Lemon looked sorry for you, Tangerine looked concerned, and you... chuckled.

-The bill's on you, right? *You asked in all seriousness.*

Tangerine smiled, and lemon was about to refuse, but his brother replied first.

-Yeah, the bill's on us love, but maybe let me eat first, okay?

-Are you gonna eat a fruit?

-You know I've already ordered right, and this joke's old already.

You waited for the two brothers' food to arrive while Lemon changed the subject to whatever happened to Tangerine. Apparently Jim and his men had some beef with the fruit brothers, and those nice lads had a plan to take down Jim's goons except it all went wrong when Lemon made one too many references to Thomas the train... ah no, it went wrong when Tangerine took too long in the bathroom to check his hair, well something went wrong, and, ah the food arrived!

-Where's your family Y/N? *Lemon asked*

-Countryside.

-So you have one. Do you want us to drop you off with them?

You didn't reply right away. They were almost fininshed with their food. You waited until the plates were clean to say:

-Look, if you want to drop me off somewhere and forget I ever existed, take me to the airport, I can look after myself, but don't think my story is gonna have some fairytale ending. Obviously I'm gonna get killed at some point or another, I'm just trying to enjoy my time until then.

-It's not like we can make the entire criminal world stop looking for you. I would help you, you see, but I don't know how. Honestly, you're kinda fucked...

-Don't listen to him -*Tangerine jumped in*- You're not fucked, you just have to diverge the attention to whoever has the key. Once people start looking for them, they'll forget about you.

-The problem is, I don't know who has the key. If I did, not only would I be off the hook, I'd be damn rich.

-Hold on... *Lemon stared at you for a moment* How much money is in the game?

-More than a billion that's for sure...

The two brothers starred at each other not sure what to say for a minute. Tangerine turns back to you and is about to speak when Lemon says:

-Let's make a deal, we help you find whoever got the key, it gets the target off your back, and we get 2/3rds of the money. You get the rest.

-I'll make you one better. *You smile fully, showing your teeth and visibly amused* You get all the money, as long as I'm still alive.

-Deal! *Lemon extands the palm of his hand which you clap right away*

As the three of you head to whichever hotel the brothers booked in a cab, Tangerine whispers to you:

-For the record, I was ready to help you regardless of the money.

-That's stupid. You shouldn't do that.

-What's stupid is being a big though guy and not helping people who so clearly need it.

You looked at him for bit. The same look you gave him in that cell when you first saw him. "Fuck you're actually so beautiful" you thought.

-Thanks. Not the reply I would have expected, but thanks.

Sleep deprivation clearly made you a tad bit lunatic, saying stuff you weren't supposed to. You looked away immediately and rested your head against the window. Closing your eyes felt like heaven.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The hotel was old and cheap, the late 80s style still intact. You liked it. Starred at the curtains of the room as the sound of the shower filled the silence. You closed your eyes.

-The shower is free. May I suggest you take one before going to bed love?

You woke up with a dizzy head, you really wanted to go back to your nap, but the guy standing in front of you wasn't budging.

-Are you saying I smell bad?

-Yeah, I am. Get up now.

You did, he held up a hand for you to take it which you did as you were more than tired. He didn't let go when you were up though and led you to the bathroom. You weren't sure where Lemon had gone to. He turned the shower on, pointed to the soap, and said:

-I reckon you know how to shower. Won't need my help for the next part then.

You grinned a bit and looked at him, he smiled. After he left, (and only after), you started undressing and finally took the shower. Once you turned the water off, he knocked on the door.

-Are you decent?

You grabbed a towel and answered positively. He came in, took a glance at you, closed the door, and stood in front of you for a second. His eyes went from your wet hair whose natural color was finally visible, your face which was now recognizable, your clean skin, your bruises, and then back to your face. He had some medical products in his hand and gestured to the bathtub. You took a seat on the edge of it. He dabbed a cotton in disinfectant, and slowly went over every single one of your cuts. They were quite a lot of them.

-Jesus, how many days did you stay in that place?

-Just a couple hours before you came in.

-Where are all these marks from then?

-Other people.

The last injury was your cut lip. He went over it delicately and you just starred at him for the third time this week.

-You're quite sweet for an assassin.

-Are you gonna make another fruit joke?

-Saw right through me... No but really, why the kindness?

-Just because you do some bad stuff for money doesn't mean you have to be an asshole for free too now does it?

-Thank you.

-You're not saved yet, thank me when you are.

-I will.

You both smiled, this time he was looking right back at you. Nice blue eyes like antartic ice. Really, really nice eyes.

-I'm back. *Lemon shouted from the room. He then entered the bathroom looking for his brother and his gaze settled on you.* You look quite nice without all the blood and dirt on you. Oh, wait, guys... Did I walk in on something?

Tangerine scoffs, gets up, and pushes Lemon out the bathroom. You hear them banter for a second before Tangerine comes back with a bag that he hands you. He politely smiles at you and exits the room, closing the door behind him. You go through the bag to realize your old clothes are no longer in condition to be worn and two men who were complete strangers a week ago just had to guess the size of your bras and panties. What was even more awkward is that the ones they bought fit quite well. The rest of the bag was some blue jeans, a black halter top, and a loose shoulder black sweater which you liked. You didn't put it on though, opened the door without getting out and asked for a t shirt. No way you were sleeping in jeans for 12 hours straight. A t shirt flew right to your face a second after. Probably Tangerine's guessing by the smell. He smelled nice. But not the point. You put it on and finally got to fully crash out on the couch. You couldn't move anymore, too tired, too comfy, you were just there. Before falling asleep, you saw the handsome brit throw a blanket on you trying not to look at your figure.

You woke up a bit lost, not sure where you were or how long you had slept for. A few seconds brought your memory back and your eyes adjusted to the light. Tangerine was there. Sitting at the desk typing away on a computer, his back turned to you. You got up and walked towards him. You were standing just a few centimeters away as you leaned over his shoulder and stared at the screen.

-What's that? *You asked*

-Holy... fuck, have you heard of heart attacks??

-You're that old? Don't look a day over 50. Are you trying to hack into the MI6?

-Well obviously yes.

-From a cheap retro looking computer?

-Do you have a better idea?

He then realized you weren't wearing pants. To which he gave you a disapproving look over his mustache and continued:

-Maybe start by wearing some pants before attacking the cheapness of my computer.

-Pants are overrated.

-I'm sure they are. *He turned back to the screen. You sat on the desk, facing him.*

-If my legs disturb you so much, stop looking at them.

-Get off the desk. You know for someone getting threats from half the criminal population, you're surely quite calm.

You hummed, got off the desk as prompted, and went to get the jeans from yesterday. However, he stood up and grabbed your hand before you could get fully away.

-Alright maybe you don't need to put pants on right away. *You turned your face to him, starring into his eyes* I was right though, when we met. You are really crazy.

-For not wearing jeans to sleep?

-For flirting in the middle of a life or death situation. *He pulled you in closer.*

-Who said I was flirting? *You closed the last gap between you two*

-Me. *He leaned in to kiss your lips*

[jjungkookislife]

hi 🩵 can i get a drabble about oc and jk having dinner at a restaurant and some guy paying their bill because he liked oc? something between humor, fluff and angst🥹 thank u

this was before drabble night but i like the idea

Don't

pairing: husband!jk x wife!reader

warnings: jealousy

Jungkook called the waiter, "We'd like the check, please."

The waiter raised a brow as he looked at his notebook.

"Your check's been paid for, sir," The waiter states.

"But we haven't paid?" You chime in, confused.

Jungkook pats his suit jacket where his wallet sits. He looks at you and shrugs.

"Was there a coupon or something?" Your husband asks.

"No," the waiter smiles. "The man at the bar paid it for you... well her. He said anyone as beautiful as she deserves her dinner paid for especially when she's with her brother."

"Brother?!" Jungkook's brows raise.

"He's my husband," You explain to the waiter but he shrugs.

"I'm just doing my job, ma'am. Those were his words." The waiter takes his leave and you stare at your husband.

"Brother?"

"Stop, don't say that," Jungkook groans. "Don't"

"Who would think-"

"Let's just go," Jungkook whines. He takes your hand and leads you out of the restaurant. He makes sure to flip off the man at the bar, kissing you in front of him before he hands his number to the valet.

"Brother," Jungkook scoffs.

"Jungkook, it's fine."

"It is not," Jungkook huffs as his Ferrari SF90 comes into view. He opens the door for you and shuts it after.

"Your BROTHER!" Jungkook exclaims. "In what world?"

"Jungkook, it's an innocent mistake." You try to soothe him but he's heated. You place your hand on his thigh as he drives. Was he not doing enough? Was he not enough?

When you get home, you take Jungkook to bed, kissing him with every step. You assure him as your husband, keep him close all night.

[overnightheartbeats]

"Dude, your back is probably eighty at this point." Not that Isaac or his back were any younger. A chuckle later, he had no choice but to agree. The drool stains were pretty damning evidence. "Fair enough. Few more kids and you got a mini soccer team on your hands. I know, I just appreciate you guys keeping her close." Especially when he couldn't. Another reason he was ready to call it quits and go home. Being away from her was not easy, even less easy at the thought of this situation being a lengthy one. Though, Isaac did feel a sense of relief wash over him knowing she was staying at their place.

Isaac was so caught up in ranting about his meeting with Wally that he only half-heard his brother moving around at the other end of the line. But, as soon as he began talking, Isaac knew he was going to get the talk of a lifetime. Things that, he partly knew, but refused to look at in lieu of his anger and frustration agreeing with him, more than his common sense ever would. "Yeah, they're probably right to refuse this one." It was one of the most tangled webs he'd seen in years. Part of him was tempted to ask Eli, if he could loop his wife in just a bit more, just to see if she could pass this on to someone she trusted. It was the third best option in his mind, just him looking for ways to leave this in good hands. "I don't know if I'm the smartest or most idiotic agent in the world for taking this on now." Investigating an FBI director with shady dealings. Thinking back, it kind of made sense that Lucie had been standing in the lobby for ages before he came along.

But, Eli was right. He had given his word, and reassured her up and down that he'd do everything possible to help. Taking that back now would not be right, especially after he implied to her that he briefly suspected her brother too. Hey, he had to discard it all. With a sigh, he relented on that point. "Fear," he scoffed for a second. "I doubt that." The way he threw him against the wall, Isaac doubted it. Until, Wally's words came back to him - his niece being caught up in this. "Okay maybe not, but he's not helping his case. I know you skimmed some of the notes I brought that day, but there's more. And, to be frank, some of it didn't look good for him. That, and his refusal is...odd. He's also convinced I'm just there to fuck it all up or get myself killed."

Eli, the voice of reason. Isaac knew what he was getting when he called. Not necessarily someone to agree with him, but would get some sense smacked into him if he was doing too much. He knew Eli couldn't see him rolling his eyes, because his comment was an echo of a conversation he had with Wally's conversation. Putting himself in Wally's shoes, thinking of a time he had been compromised - all roads lead to that period of his life with Jazz. "Maybe," he grumbled in return. Eli was right on that front too. The tail end of their conversation did present a bit more of that fear, why he was hiding around and away from his family. "Yeah, I'm picking up what you're putting down. He has this situation, I had my thing that you guys helped with." Hey, it paid to have two trusted agents in his life. Well, that they were family mostly. "I guess, yes. I just hate this back and forth when I'm here to help. Actively pushing against him too, knowing that this case is already a mess as it is. "I know, and she is very concerned." Not to mention that she might also be in the line of danger. According to her brother anyway. To Isaac's dismay, he was right. Giving this up was not right.

"Hey, I always miss you guys." Isaac almost couldn't hide his wide grin when he mentioned flying out here. Dealing with someone as frustrating as Wally, having his family here would be the perfect way to cancel all that out. Still, he hated the guy for passing on his fears to him, because now, he couldn't stop thinking of his warnings. "You're one hell of a husband, your idea of a vacation is to Louisiana of all places to follow your brother," he teased, a laugh escaping him. "I appreciate it, and you know I would love that. But, no you guys should stay home. It's a mess and a half here."

"Yeah, and he has a great opinion of CIA. That helped me a ton when I showed up," he added sarcastically. "I guess so." Wanting to help is always what got him into messes. "No, not loyalty. As far as he says and his sister vouches for. Parts of his file truly indicate otherwise, but I discarded that theory today after meeting him. He did," Isaac was reluctant to share, knowing that once he did, there was even less of a chance Eli would agree on letting this go. "She has his niece. I assume, she knows her whereabouts or something along those lines. He didn't specify. I'm not asking him to flat out join the crusade, just to share what he knows. I wouldn't ask him to put her at risk."

Eli laughed thinking he was so hilarious. "That doesn't show my age. My back does. But, you try keeping awake with 5 kids demanding attention every four seconds. Oh wait, our sofa still has your drool stains," as always brothers who teased endlessly loved the most. "No need to thank me. She's family. I promised you I'd look after you. Plus, she's staying upstairs. Lau convinced her to stay so she'd have help with the twins. Juju and Aaron have been keeping the house warm."

Ridiculously stubborn. Now that sounded familiar. Eli let his brother finish before he spoke. The reply on the tip of his tongue but knew he had to be careful how he worded it. Taking the bottle from his daughter he gently rocked her and patted her back. It seemed to him that it went deeper than stubbornness. Flat out refusing help was mainly out of fear. He'd briefly skimmed the notes when Isa had been over debating taking on the case from the man's sister. Gently setting his baby girl down in her crib to sleep he hummed and gave her forehead a kiss. Now he could focus on his brother.

As he turned off the light he shuffled into the guest bedroom not wanting to wake his wife. Setting the baby monitor on the nightstand he sat down and sighed. "You know it as well as I do that handing this over wouldn't do much. It'd probably be passed over since no one would take on another agency's director. Besides, wouldn't really be fair to his sister since you did give her your word and we both know your word means a lot more than anyone else's. Being ridiculously stubborn in this case may not be a refusal to cooperate for the sake of fun but could be rooted in fear. You're talking a giant in the agency. That's not to be taken lightly and we can presume he's tried going up against her and he's failed. That is something you and him have in common."

"Put yourself in his shoes," shoes Eli knew Isa had been in with Jazz. "He's probably scared, you're essentially a stranger to him and doesn't know you from Adam nor can he be sure if you're actively there to help or part of the operation to silence whoever dares to speak out against this boss. He's alone. He's got a right to be frightened. You can't really blame him for that. You don't have to be his friend, you don't have to like him but you can understand him. Understand his desperation. You had me, had Lau to help. That's different than having a concerned and desperate sister willing to do what it takes for him. You're the life line she needs to protect her brother. And that is something I know you understand. Sibling love is unmatched. No matter how stubborn they get."

"If you miss your family that has an easy solution. We can fly down there. I've got vacation saved up, lau has been a little stir crazy and would love a trip somewhere other than our local grocery store. If that is really what's holding you back from focusing on this then I'll give Nettie a heads up in the morning and tell her know to pack the bags."

He brought up a few more points. "You knew walking into this it wasn't going to be easy. FBI don't easily share toys so you knew he wasn't going to be a walk in the park. Knowing all this didn't deter you though. You want to help and that's what separates you from the others. You said it's not loyalty he has for her okay so did he tell you more. Why he doesn't want to go against her?"

[starscreamingg]

Detroit Become Human and why does this game decide that the problem in society is individual people treating androids poorly because those androids are choking them out of the workforce and NOT the corporations and governments who deliberately designed the androids to do this

[headfullof-ideas]

Okay, hear me out: Ruffnut and Tuffnut would be backpackers/super intense world travelers in a Modern AU. In the show, they show a passion for cuisine from other parts of the world that they can’t make on Berk (hyena gizzards from the Defenders of the Wing), they love to learn all about all sorts of random things from different cultures (explaining to Snotlout the roots of the deity Mother Nature in whichever episode it was, I don’t remember) they know more than one other language, and then there’s that whole travel/resort guide they wrote for Vanahheim (i do not believe I spelled that right, but we’re rolling with it before I go to bed).

Ruffnut and Tuffnut would be that Instagram and TikTok famous pair almost everyone somehow knows or has heard of that go on super extensive trips to various locations around the world, from super iconic locations to the smack-dab middle of butt-nowhere literally no-one has ever heard of. No one knows how they fund their trips, no one knows where they find the time to get to and from anywhere, and no one that doesn’t know them knows if they even have a permanent living residence. And everyone back at their home doesn’t know how they’re able to do all of that, and still spend an insane amount of time in their teeny-tiny smack-dab in the middle of where-are-we town that they come from in order to hang out with the rest of the gang and get arrested every once in a while for speeding, before skipping off to freaking who knows where until they post a reel of their latest exploration expedition.

I also believe they’d have a shared tumblr account that is also super popular as well, filled with a strange combination of memes and strangely philosophical quotes. Nobody knows that this account belongs to the backpacking idiots that everyone is at least mildly jealous of. There’s a betting ring amongst the gang on if or when someone connects the dots and blows up the internet trying to prove it to everyone else.

[naniahi]

She's a 10 but she leaves 10% tips, makes over $300/hr and doesn't buy groceries. Instead, she gets all of her food from a food bank

So she's off the table, -7, but she's calling me baby and writing me poetry and like.hfjdbfjdfb

Why can't this be a simple "off the table"?

How come she has to have a deep love of music and reading AND write me poetry?

Ugh

[tariah23]

I can’t wait to start estie school wha

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

oh no my “disturbing practices of early circuses” interest is resurfacing again